No New Year's Resolutions for 2024? Continue Old Resolutions!

 As another year of 2023 comes to an end, we often find ourselves settle into the same old mindset that we should new year's resolutions for the coming year.  We reflect the past year and we ponder on what goals we haven't met and what goals we need to fulfill for the next year in order to commit to a new fresh start in our lives.  However... why not try another approach?  How about exploring the idea of continuing our goals as our new year's resolution while just enjoying life, progressing at our own pace and ultimately, embracing the imperfection that makes us humans?  Tried to quit smoking this past year but failed?  Keep doing it in 2024!  Tried to lose weight last January 2023 only to fall off the wagon after 6 weeks before giving up for the whole year?  Try again in 2024!  

Life itself is a journey.  We are a work in progress.  It's not a race!  We don't have to finish college by 25.  We don't have to get married and raise a family of 3 kids by 45.  Some of us reach at 50 and still aren't sure what we're doing with our lives!  I used to think you had to finish high school, go to college, wait til after college to get married and have 2.5 kids with a dog and a nice house surrounded by a picket fence and settle into our careers without changing.  Now I realized there's no hurry at all.  There's no hurry to pick a career if you're not sure what you want to do, to get married and have kids or to even complete a bucket list!  Most of the time, we never even do every single thing on our bucket list and we may end up on our deathbeds someday thinking how we should've done something or gone someplace but we didn't.

Whatever you think, it's ok to not complete everything you've ever wanted to do.  It's ok to fail, make mistakes and fall of the wagon.  We can't be perfect.  Being perfect is just being unrealistic and it's unattainable!  We weren't created to be perfect!  If we were trying to be perfect, how are we supposed to  grow, learn and become self-compassionate?  Embracing our need to be perfect only brings on stress and undermines our self-confidence.  We are all flawed beings and setbacks are a natural part of any pathway towards personal development and self-improvement.  So when those setbacks happen, don't stop for the rest of the year and give up.  Cut yourself some slack, remind yourself you're human and you weren't meant to be perfect and after you've taken a breather, try again when you're mentally and emotionally ready.  Focus on the joy of progress, let go of high expectations and set mini-goals, instead of big goals.

Source: BK on Flickr 
Photo by cocoparisienne

Instead of feeling the pressure of starting anew each year, give yourself permission to grace yourself with progress in your goals and your own life's purposes that are significant to you.  You don't have to start a new goal then if you don't reach it in 2025, don't stop and just say, "Welp!  I didn't reach my goals or resolutions I promised to make for myself last New Year so I guess it wasn't meant to be and I might as well quit and pick another resolution that's easier!"  If losing weight, finding the love of your life, giving up cigarettes or traveling to Europe for the first time ever is that important to you, then go for it!  So you didn't make it to Europe, lose 70 lbs or find the right guy in 2023.  Keep trying in 2024!  If no luck, try again in 2025!  Yes, some of us won't be here in 2025 but at least we had lives filled with joy, love and lessons we did learn and teach others so those who are still on Earth can finish what we began.

Thanks to what we were taught as children, our history and societal norms, we are so fixated on setting resolutions and achieving goals that we forget to pause and appreciate the present moment.  Instead of consuming ourselves with the need to accomplish new objectives, we should be cultivating the mindset that allows us to savor life's journey every moment as we can.  If we can do that, we can celebrate the smallest things like small victories, our growth and we can become more content.  By doing so, we enjoy each minute of reaching our goals and if we find a way to enjoy them, it will be easier to reach those goals without so much stress and complaining about how difficult it is in whatever we choose to do.  

I'm not saying we should let go of things that need to be done or deadlines that must be met in our careers or at school.  While we're still living, we definitely should be reaching goals and finding our purposes but at the same time, enjoy the journey of doing those and finding a balance between personal goals, pursuing careers, savoring each aspect of life's beauty and nurturing relationships with others.  By cultivating a balance, you can live a lifestyle that is both smooth and fulfilling.  We can then feel less stressed and enjoy fulfilling our New Year's resolutions.

10 years ago, I went through a major event that changed my perspectives about goals, purposes and living life in general.  I used to take things for granted but I don't anymore and there have been things I wish I had done before now but I realize that while it's true that life is short, I believe in taking my time and enjoying the journey in reaching my goals, finding my purpose and whatever else I am meant to stay on this Earth for.  It's hard to start our goals into a new year but once we start, it's easier to get the ball rolling!

So in conclusion, let this new year be an acknowledgement of self-acceptance and continuous personal growth instead of an obligation to redefine ourselves with goals that may be filled with nothing but struggles and aggravation.  Life is about embracing imperfection and the small things.  I'll just bullet-point some things for you clearly:

• Let go of expectations based on what you were taught and societal norms.  Life changes all the time, whether we can control it or not.
• Instead of reaching big goals, reach mini-goals
• Be realistic
• Find new ways to enjoy the moment and take your time
• Be conscious that you may not finish everything.  Just know you did your best and you are a work in progress!  It is ok to pass the torch and let someone after you finish something.  Steve Jobs was the reason why Apple Inc. become successful but after he passed away, Tim Cook took the company to higher levels by introducing new products like AirPods and Apple Watches.  Walt Disney founded the Walt Disney Company and brightened up our entertainment industry with animations and theme parks.  However, in 2005, Bob Iger advanced this success with the addition of modern and advanced ideas like Pixar and Marvel. 

Beyond the Smile: Unraveling the Silent Pain of Mental Illnesses

 In Memory of Stephen "tWitch" Boss

Stephen "tWitch" Boss once said, "You will make decisions that might seem right at the time but then they're not.  For me, it just helps to know that it keeps going -- it does, no matter what -- even if something seems very devastating like there's some kind of force that's going to keep going and it's there for you to naturally access."

Today marked one year since Stephen "tWitch" Boss died by suicide.  If you are having thoughts of suicide or struggling with a mental illness or even feeling hopeless in general, there is help.  You can simply dial 988 (you can also text your message to 988).  There are a lot of other ways to get help if you are depressed, experiencing a crisis, have been assaulted sexually or physically, are being bullied and more.  You can call, text or chat with someone whether you are deaf/hard of hearing, LGBTQ or a teen.

When you read that quote above, it sounds like it could be said by someone who's going through some kind of difficulties.  It's true, we all make decisions and sometimes they're right, sometimes they're wrong.  That's part of life.  I suppose that's what he meant when he said "it keeps going."  Life does keep going.  Life will go on, no matter the choices you make.  It's a bit difficult to determine whether he meant this to be a positive or negative outlook when he basically said choices can be hard to face but then life goes go on, regardless of your choices.  He carries on to say ".... like there's some kind of force that's going to keep going and it's there for you to naturally access."  tWtich made it sound like he knew that things will just happen because it's "some kind of force" or something that's established by nature or some kind of phenomenon and you can't control it or stop it from happening, even if you want it to.  Some things will happen beyond our control.  Other things, we can control them if we wanted to.

Again, I don't know for sure if he meant it to be a positive or negative tone.  Although, he continued but in a manner that seemed more positive: "Sometimes, I'm faced to make a choice that is the best possible choice I can make at that given moment.  Now, will it be the perfect choice?  No.  Will it cause me to fail?  Maybe, and if so, you've got to get back up really, really quick and pick up the lesson of whatever that is and then keep it moving because that's kind of what life does."

I think it's evident that tWitch knew that life can be full of the inevitable but you have a choice.  Either go for it and wait and see if you succeed or fail or do nothing and not take any chances.  Though I have to wonder what his mood was when he said the first part.  Maybe I'm overthinking this but it sounded like a bit of despair in his words but he was trying his best to be hopeful. 

tWitch was known for being positive, no matter what life threw at him.  Whatever he had going in his life, he was positive and vibrant and worked hard as a dancer, choreographer, husband and father of three children.  He spread love to those all around him and inspired others to find joy in life with his unbridled spirit, cheerful smile and invigorating dance moves.  All tWitch wanted to do was make everyone feel good, inspire people into kindness and help people be the best they can be.  His family and friends and those around him said he was a wonderful husband and father who loved them and he loved what he was doing.  Before his death, he talked about looking forward to his projects that were underway in 2023.  Just a couple of nights before he was found dead in a motel in Enrico, California, he was dancing with his wife, Allison Holker on Instagram and his energy and love for Allison was palpable.  They had just celebrated their 9-year wedding anniversary on December 10, just 3 days before he died.  He and his family had just decorated their Christmas tree.

Where are the signs?

So what happened?  What went wrong?  tWitch seemed happy and satisfied with his family, friends, career, others in the dance world and life in general.  As far as we know, there was nothing in his demeanor leading up to his death that showed that anything was troubling him at all.  What would cause someone like Stephen "tWitch" Boss to end his life so abruptly with no signs of distress?

You've probably heard or even seen the signs in a person who is considering suicide:

• Loss of appetite/overeating
• Withdrawal from family and friends
• No longer doing things they used to enjoy
• Lack of sleep or too much sleep
• Discussions or even thoughts about death or self-harm
• Getting rid of possessions 
• Constant negative talk or thinking
• Feeling of guilt, especially of being a burden to others
• Displaying dangerous or self-destructive behaviors
• Sudden mood swings 
• Using drugs or alcohol
• Quitting their job or skipping school
  
• Trouble with school or focusing on things

So you would think it's real easy to tell if someone is considering suicide or whether the person is happy or depressed.  Someone has a great life, is always smiling and has a positive outlook on life and we think the person's fine.  In a lot of cases, that may be true.  But in a lot of other cases, that's not so.  So why would a person be smiling and acting happy if they're so unhappy and thinking about hurting themselves?  Why would they be so depressed and think about harming themselves if everything is going so well in their life?

Having a mental illness like anxiety and/or depression can be a burden on ourselves.  Many people have the misconception that people with depression or anxiety just need to snap out of it, get a hug from someone, watch a funny movie, a vacation at the beach or an outing with friends for lunch or a movie.  We all get depressed or anxious from time to time in our lives without having a mental illness.  We get into situations that make us feel this way like losing a job, breaking up with someone, having financial trouble, completing a huge project that seemed hopeless to get done in time, talking in front of a huge group of people, health problems, family problems, traumatic experiences or moving to a new location.

What if we're not going through any of those or we weren't diagnosed with a mental illness?  Then we should have no reason to be unhappy, it seems like.  It seemed liked that was the case with tWitch.  He had a great career, great family, exciting projects coming and he appeared to enjoy what he was doing and loved everyone around him.  So why was he so unhappy?  To this day, we still don't know and we may never know.  Only the person suffering, like tWitch clearly was, would know.

The Hidden Struggle of Mental Illness

Here's the trouble with some mental illnesses like depression or anxiety for some people: it's not always clear.  In many cases, we'll see the signs but in others, we won't.  Just because we always have a smile on our faces or act happy and not complain about anything doesn't necessarily mean we're fine.  In fact, it's possible that we have those smiles and act happy because we're hiding something about ourselves like how unhappy we are and how much pain we're in.  Although, it doesn't necessarily mean we're not happy, either!  Some people may be truly happy and those smiles you see are actually sincere.

So what now?  How do we know whether the person is truly unhappy and in pain?  How could we have known tWitch was unhappy?  Where were the signs?  Did his family and friends miss something?  His wife, Allison, gave an interview a while after his death and revealed there were no signs.  Couple of nights before he was found dead, he was cheerfully dancing with his wife.  He was excited about 2023 and spending time with family around their Christmas tree.  Fans began to doubt that the cause of death was suicide because tWitch was always happy and cheerful, firing up speculations like he was murdered.  However, police concluded there were no signs of foul play and the cause of death was a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.  

Just because you can't see it doesn't always mean it isn't there.  This also applies to physical illnesses like diabetes, heart diseases, autoimmune disorders and cancer.  You can't see them but they exist.  Some people are really good at hiding their struggles for several reasons:

• They may not want to admit there's a problem.
• They don't want others to know how depressed they are.
• They don't want to be a burden to others.
• They want to be strong and show people how tough they can be.  They believe others expect them to be strong and invincible and do not want to let anyone down.  It is crucial to know that it is ok to not be ok.  You do not have to be strong and put on a brave face if you're not doing ok.  If you're not doing ok, please let someone know.  It can save your life.
• They think there's no hope so why bother talking about it?
• They're ashamed to talk about it and face the problem.
• They think we're too busy with our own lives to listen.

The biggest issue with mental illnesses besides the fact that they could be deadly is that they, like depression and anxiety, are so stigmatized.  They say:

• "People who are depressed are weak."
• "People who are anxious don't know how to get a grip."
• "If someone has a mental illness, it's their own fault."
• "You're just having a bad day.  Go outside and you'll feel better."
• "It's not that big of a deal, your mind's just playing tricks on you."
• "But he looked so happy, had money, a great career, had a wonderful family and a lot of friends.  There's no way someone like that could be so unhappy."

It's attitudes like these that make it hard for people to open up about their struggles.  It makes them more shameful to open up more because of society's general expectations of people who are struggling.  Those expectations would cause people to have the wrong attitudes about those people who struggle with mental illnesses like depression and anxiety.  It's hard to trust people when all they do is believe statements like those above.  They get told they're doing great and look happy then suddenly, they might feel trapped because they think they have to prove to everyone that they are indeed content with everything.

Here's the truth: No one is happy all the time.  Everyone has their own struggles and challenges in the present and the past, even if you don't see them.  tWitch revealed in his suicide note that he had past challenges (details were never revealed what they were).  Because someone is smiling all the time and doing well doesn't mean they've never struggled in their lives.  We just don't always talk about them.  We don't like to face our past mistakes and challenges, certainly not in public.  We don't like to get up and say, "I'm unhappy, help me," especially when everyone think we look happy and seem to have it all like fortune, happy and healthy children and a terrific career.  

Unveiling The Mask

My take is this: He had a great career, future, family, friends and a huge dance community who loved him.  However, it was clear he knew something we didn't.  There was something out there that was not making him happy and only he knew what it was, not us.  It may have been something he was ashamed to talk about, even with his own wife.  It may have had something to do with his past and before he died, it was coming back to haunt him for some reason.  Whatever it was, he didn't want to burden anyone with it, not even his own family.  Whatever it was, it was probably not severe but in his mind, it was and it was bad enough for him to take his own life.  tWitch wanted nothing but to spread love and kindness and enjoy his life with loved ones, make everyone happy and keep dancing.  He may have felt the high pressure and didn't know how to handle it and because everyone's perception of him was so positive, he didn't want to admit that part of him was weak.  It is possible the clues may be in his suicide note in order to shed some light but his full note was never disclosed. 

So what now?  Where to go from here if someone appears to be happy about everything and how to prevent suicides like this one again?  After tWitch died, fans said that we need to be checking in on each other, even those who seem happy.  While that seems like a brilliant idea, I'm not sure that's going to be enough.  You could ask someone, "how are you doing?" and the person might say, "fine."  I bet too many people say they're fine even though they're not.  "Fine" seem like an easy and quick answer to give to someone who asks how we're doing because we don't want to take the time to explain why're not really fine or maybe we're really "fine" but not terrific and we don't feel like going into details about our lives.

If someone asks you how you're doing and you're really doing fine, then that's terrific!  Go with that answer then.  But "fine" seem like a really quick answer without letting us know how the person is really feeling in general, how they're doing in their lives and what they're thinking.  "Fine" might mean, 

• "Oh, I lost my job but I'm sure I'll find another one soon."
• "Just got divorced last month but life will go on.  I still have my kids and my job!"
• "I'm tired from working so much and still need to catch up on some sleep but I'll manage."
• "My daughter got sick with the flu and I had to stay home from work to care for her but I'll catch up when I get back to work on Monday."
• "I have too much on my plate but there's nothing anyone else can do.  It'll be fine."

Ok, what's wrong with those statements?  At the beginning, someone's complaining then they say something positive like, "that's ok, I still have my job" or "it'll be fine, I can manage."  It's great that people have such positive attitudes but it doesn't take away that those everyday situations are stressful.  Everything eventually begin to build up until it becomes too much, leading to anxiety or depression if the person doesn't cope very well.  So people will say "fine" when they're unhappy or stressed because they believe at the end, everything will work out "fine."  They might say "fine" because they don't have the energy to talk about what's bothering them or because they don't want to burden anyone.  Some people might give highlights of their day or little details but not enough to give us an idea of the person's mood or ways of thinking.

So..... when someone's saying, "fine" and then saying something slightly negative like, "at least I have my health," "it'll work out someday" or even "it's been rough but I'm going to be fine," take heed.  That latter statement is probably the most dangerous one to say because it could mean the person knows how they they're going to be fine after they have some kind of plan to finally reduce or end their pain and that plan just may not be a good one for the rest of us!  

Creating Deeper Connections: Listening With Empathy & Understanding

When it comes to connecting with others, we need to connect more than just "how are you doing?"  It's a simple question that may not elicit a full answer or give us concrete idea of the person's state of mind.  If they say, "fine" or "good," it's time to dig deeper!  Get to know the person's real mood, their state of mind and what they've been up to in general and practice active listening.  If they don't give full answers, that's ok.  Don't push them too hard!  People need to process their own feelings and thoughts on their own time.  Some will give more, some will give less.  Just allow them time and let them know you care and that you're available and you won't judge them (really, don't judge them!  Do make the time to make them feel like you're available and present).  Whatever they have to say, listen and:

• Be active in listening.  Make sure you understand what they're saying, don't interrupt at any time and don't get distracted when they're talking like watching TV or looking at your phone or the time.
• Believe what they say.  Maybe some people will overexaggerate or overdramatize but even if they do, they still need you to listen.  
• Don't downplay their feelings, even if you don't understand or resonate with them.  They need empathy, not criticism or judgement.
• Help them the best you can.  If you don't know how to help or if you're not sure you're able to, direct them to the right person or place that may be of better assistance.
• Make sure you find time to listen to them and show that you're there and you care.  Don't roll your eyes and think, "Oh, I don't have time for this."  This is about them, not you.
• Be honest (but not too honest!)

People with mental illnesses need to be heard, despite those stigmas we see all the time.  They need better mental healthcare.  But whatever needs to be done, we need to do it with an open mind, open heart, time with others and without judgement.  Stop the fear of mental illnesses by understanding or empathizing with people who are struggling and being more open to discussing mental illnesses with others.  More discussions and awareness could be utilized to combat mental illnesses.  You may not have depression or anxiety but they still need our understanding.  When people are diabetic or have cancer, they need treatments.  Having a mental illness is no exception. 

We'll never know for sure what they were thinking but the lives of tWitch and others who are struggling or did struggle need to be remembered if we're going to save more lives and conquer the problem of our mental health system and end the silence pain of mental illnesses.

Finding Unexpected Joy in Christmas Movies: "Love Actually" 20 Years Later

 Tis the Season!  Christmas lights are up, the Christmas tree is up and lit, Santa Claus is on his way, malls are getting crowded, people are shopping online, people are playing Christmas music and going to Christmas displays, people are decorating their houses and people are feeling the jolly feeling of Christmas full of joy, love and sharing.  People have their own ways of spending the holiday by doing all of those, having Christmas parties or just simply spreading love like sending gifts and Christmas cards and even helping those who are less fortunate than us and those who can't spend Christmas with their loved ones far away.

However, there is one thing I love to do during all the month of December until Christmas Day -- watch Christmas movies!  I love all the old classic movies that came when I was growing up like "Home Alone", "Home Alone 2: Lost In New York", "The Christmas Story", "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" and "Elf."  I've always had a love for comedy movies and dramas and the feeling of nostalgia.  That's why I don't care to watch many Christmas TV movies like those you watch on the Hallmark channel.  For me, that channel is all about romance and love.  I don't get all the hype of watching a lot of romantic movies unless you're a hopeless romantic, hurting from a broken relationship or love is in the air for you.

Speaking of romance, how do I feel about romantic movies in general?  Overdone and overrated!  I don't know how people can watch so many of it.  Man loves woman.  Woman loves a man and will do whatever it takes to get his attention.  Man cheats on woman then the woman gets mad and wants revenge or divorce or whatever.  It's already done.  I'm over it.  Even if it's Christmastime, I'm not a fan of romantic movies during the holiday or at any time.  However, I watched "Love Actually" recently.  I saw it for the very first time years ago and I was not into it.  Perhaps I wasn't into a lot of things at the time.  I didn't think the movie discussed Christmas enough even though it was Christmastime.  I love movies that actually discuss Christmas-related topics like going Christmas shopping, going on Christmas vacations, spending time with loved ones for Christmas, Santa Claus, lights, music etc.... That's all the reason why I love to watch the classic movies.  Plus, there are lines and popular scenes that many people and I remember to this day from those movies like "Elf" and "Home Alone."  

This year, "Love Actually" is 20 years so so it seems appropriate to discuss it now with the holidays underway.  In "Love Actually," I hardly think there are any memorable lines or scenes for me, except when Hugh Grant came downstairs, dancing.  There are a lot of scenes of romance in the movies and even sex (keep in mind the movie is "R" rated, for those who have children!).  Not my cup of tea.  So normally, I'd wouldn't be interested in watching a movie like this again.  However, I find this movie different for me and I would watch it again.  

First of all, I'm a huge fan of British TV, especially comedy ones.  "Keeping Up Appearances" and "My Family" are just two of my favorite British comedy shows.  If you've seen "My Family," you'll recognized one of the characters from "Love Actually," Kris Marshall.  Kris plays "Nick" in "My Family" and is my absolute favorite!  I stumbled onto "Love Actually" earlier today and he was the first face I saw so I kept watching before I was ready to change the channels because I knew this movie was a romance.  I'm glad I did stay with this movie because I saw a lot of other familiar faces like Colin Firth ("The Secret Garden"), Alan Rickman and Emma Thomspon (both from the "Harry Potter" franchise), Rowan Atkinson ("Mr. Bean"), Hugh Grant ("Nine Months") and Liam Neeson ("Suspect").

So the familiarity of those faces captivated my interest at the beginning when I re-watched the movie.  As the movie kept playing, I'm almost forgetting I'm watching a Christmas movie because of all the storylines you see here, containing so much romance, close friendships, self-discovery" and pain.  Sometimes, I'm thinking "why is this a Christmas movie?" when the movie talks about people falling in love with each other and we don't see as many elements of Christmas as we've seen in other classic Christmas movies?  

Maybe this movie didn't intend to give us the same feeling of Christmas like those classic Christmas movies but regardless, I still love this movie because it's around Christmas time, I love the British atmosphere with the accents, the setting and the dry humor.  It's too bad the movie had to consist of adult-themed situations like scenes of sex and the foul language because without those, I think the movie could've been rated "PG" as "PG" movies, to me, gives me a good feeling.  That's one of the things Christmas is about.  Joy and having good feelings.  At the beginning of the movie, there are shots from the airport with the narrator explaining about loving others, regardless of who you are.  He states that "love actually" is all around.  It's all around the world but we don't see more of it as we'd like because it's not seen as much in the news or social media.  

International airports are probably some of the best places to see a lot of love from people, especially from those from all over the world when they greet each other after arrival with love, regardless of who they are and regardless of how they know each other.  People greet each other after departing for a short period of time, sometimes a very long period of time and you see nothing but love between them.  At the end, after the characters struggle to find the right person or the person meant for them during the movie, they're all at the airport greeting and loving each other one month later.  I thought the scene of the young boy, Sam, going after the girl he loved at the airport with his "father's" help was a pretty nice touch!  Colin (Kris Marshall) apparently has the idea to fall in love not in Britain but in the States.  Like I said, love is all around the world!

That's when it hit me and I get why it's a perfect Christmas movie.  Christmas shouldn't be all about decorations, making hundreds of Christmas cookies, buying as many Christmas gifts and spending as much money as you can or going to all the kids' Christmas plays.  Those are great ways to get that festive and joyous feeling because that's what Christmas is about.  A joyous feeling, especially once a year.  It should be about sharing, loving and thinking of others rather than ourselves.  This is something we should be doing year-round but it's unfortunate that many people show this much love and giving only around Christmastime.  

The characters from "Love Actually" show they are relatable and that love doesn't have to be romance and sex.  It can occur between friends and acquaintances.  Christmas is really about people and being real with each other through love and sharing, whether it's between family, friends or even strangers from all over the globe.   

Before You Judge or Criticize, Just Listen & Learn Something New (Or Help)!

You know what?  I love learning something new every day and anytime an opportunity arises!  I've been around on the Internet trying to find places where I can find some new facts.  If you know of a place where they publish at least one new fact on a regular basis, please drop me a comment!  

What have I learned in the last few days?  Well, did you know..... 

Abraham Lincoln created the Secret Service... on the day he was assassinated?

A dime has 118 ridges?

The string from string instruments used to be made from animal guts?  (Yuck!  Fortunately, they're made of metal now)

The moon actually have moonquakes?

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated? 

It's always enthralling to learn something new to enrich your mind and broaden your horizons.  

So why don't we do the same with people?  We just end up doing the opposite to people all the time!  We judge and criticize people and we just put them down, without listening, learning or even helping them.

"You're so lazy and slow!"

"Why do you always have to be so loud?"

"You're too clingy, you're suffocating me!"

"Stop talking so much!"

"You're so dumb! Can't you do anything right?"

"Organize your stuff like this, not like that!"

Sound familiar? Too often, we immediately criticize or judge when others annoy us, without taking a moment to pause and reflect. We're too focused on our own feelings to consider how others feel when their habits irritate us. When people react strongly to our actions or words, we often feel stressed. What emotions do we experience when we engage in annoying habits? We may feel tired, frustrated, stressed, lonely, angry, bothered, or lacking something. Sometimes, we may annoy others by being happy, excited, giddy, or amused.

So what if we're feeling happy or excited so we start running around, yelling, laughing and making a lot of noises?  Maybe we make a few silly giggles.  Suddenly, someone's annoyed about the noises and start yelling at us!  Now we're not happy anymore, are we?  We do not like it when we get snapped at or when someone throw things or slam doors because they're frustrated.  Now at that moment, the person is more concerned about how our actions have affected them instead of understanding why we're happy and sharing the joy we're feeling.  

When we're stressed, lonely, or bothered, we feel tension and may do whatever it takes to relieve it. If we're stressed, we talk fast or too much to be understood or because we're nervous! If we're unhappy, we rearrange furniture, drive too fast, turn the TV up too loud, snap at people, or change routines. If we're sad or lonely or we lack something, we cry, complain, overexaggerate, or cling to someone or something important to us. It is natural to seek stress relief.

Unfortunately, it's also human nature to respond when someone is doing something that annoys us!  Both parties involve fight for survival.  The unhappy or overly happy person "survives" by doing whatever it takes to release stress.  The person annoyed with other people's behavior is also trying to "survive" by protecting themselves from the stress caused by the excessive noise and the fatigue from having to deal with more excitement and mayhem.  It's a real battle between two emotionally polarizing people, just trying to survive for their own sanity!

It has always been my belief that everything happens for a reason and we do things like reacting for a reason.  I do believe we react to things to convey our basic needs and to survive, even if it annoys other people.  It may not even have anything to do with basic needs or survival and we may be doing it without realizing how irritating it is.  We might even make loud noises in the kitchen while cooking and we're trying to relax and watch TV.  The wife's trying to cook dinner for her family and doesn't even realize how noisy she is and how much that annoys her husband, who wants to relax and watch TV after a long day at work.

So why do we do those things that irritate others?  It may be to fulfill our basic needs, release tension, communicate our wants and desires or it may be because we've come from a different culture or family that others may not understand.  In America, people might find it annoying when others slurp their noodles.  In many Asian cultures like in Japan, this habit is accepting!  In America, it is usually acceptable to be just one or two minutes late.  But if you are in some countries like Germany, it is considered rude if you arrive somewhere at 12:02pm instead of 12pm.

For most of us, we don't know the reason for other people's behavior and because it can infuriate us sometimes, we tend to lash out and make the person feel bad, judged, criticized and not understood.  How is this helping anything?  What does this accomplish?  Only bad feelings, the person lashing out doesn't learn anything and the person being judged or criticized isn't being understood or helped.  

If someone is being lazy or moving slowly, find out why.  It could be because they're tired, unwell, unmotivated or have a disability that isn't obvious. So help them find a way to achieve their goals or you can just learn patience. Sometimes, we get frustrated because we just don't know how to help.  So learn how!

I'm always grateful when I find someone who is patient because I know they care more about my needs than their own. I'm a perfectionist and worry that I'm not getting something right so I tend to procrastinate (including my blogs. Oops!) but I persevere, learn something on the way and enjoy what I do. Life is a journey, not a race!

If someone is being slow or behind on a task, don't rush or snap at them.  Ask them if they need help or what you can do to help.  They're probably uncertain of what to do or how to get something done like finding Indonesia on the world map.  Doing a difficult task is often stressful and frustrating and not everyone has the same strengths or ways of thinking.  Don’t stress and never yell at them.  Getting agitated or arguing is a huge time-waster  and your hope for a peaceful rest of the day probably just went out the window and you feel like your whole life is ruined! If you are patient and just focused on getting it done, the other person will feel a huge sense of relief and feel good about themselves and you will, too, because you've learned how to keep your cool.

If someone is frequently changing furniture or items, making it difficult to watch TV or maintain inner peace, find out why. Consider whether they're bored or stressed and find ways to compromise or suggest solutions. Communicate with them to understand their reasons and find ways to help them feel less stressed.

If someone is clinging onto you, find out why. It may be due to loneliness, their need to communicate or maybe they just admire you! If it gets to the point where it's unhealthy, it could be psychological. People often rely on others for love and care or something may be wrong so don't ignore them (unless you're absolutely sure they're trying to cause trouble). Be grateful for their admiration and trust. It's challenging to find loyal people, but make time to listen and talk with them, especially when they're feeling distressed.

Next time you get annoyed with someone, bite your tongue, breathe and slow down. We are conditioned to act instinctively and do something that could hurt others. This leads to regret, pain, mistrust, and losing friendships or relationships. Because we're trying to survive, holding back criticism and judgment is tough. This is why we swiftly react before we need a time-out to de-escalate ourselves before we make things right with the person. Saying hurtful things in anger quickly wounds the victim until they heal, depending on the relationship and how the victim feels about forgiveness.

I do believe the best way to hold back from judgement and criticism is to just check ourselves.  Why did we do it?  Because we're angry, frustrated, afraid, hurt or tired?  Making new habits is so hard to do (believe me, I still struggle with some habits.  Hey, I'm not perfect!) so maybe try training our brains to slow down before reacting?  Make it a routine to slow down other things like walking, cooking or driving?  

I cook breakfast sometimes and it has helped me stay alert and slow down.  When I'm reading, I look up words I'm not familiar with or I forget their meanings.  I do push-up every morning in bed because it's convenient and over with.  I also learn a new fun fact, a new vocabulary word and read a bible verse or chapter.  I do all of those on a regular basis because I've trained my brain to keep doing them so they're habits I do without thinking about them.

I think the same can be said if we can keep training our minds and create a habit to not react so quickly, find a way to love and care for that person (when you care about someone, it's easier to forgive them for their flaws).  It's a lot harder to forgive someone you don't know so we tend to be nicer to our families, friends and long-time acquaintances.  However, we may react quickly to strangers for bumping into us, saying rude things, or driving too slowly, despite not knowing their history or how their day is. It's important to be kind and understanding to avoid causing unnecessary drama.

I defy anyone to tell me that showing contempt for others pays off well when they do something that bothers us.  While it's important to be assertive, it should be done cautiously and without hurting others or destroying their confidence. Show empathy for others, learn from them, and help them improve. Both sides will experience more peace in body and mind, learn something new, and as we spread the message, we become more at ease. No one gets hurts!

Excuse Me But Where's My "Sorry, I'm Busy" Button?

The image above is not real!  There was never a real conversation with the famous filmmaker, Steven Spielberg and the graphic was created at ifaketextmessage.com.

The Rise of Online Communication and What It Means

Filmmaker Steven Spielberg said, "Technology can be our best friend, and technology can also be the biggest party pooper of our lives. It interrupts our own story, interrupts our ability to have a thought or daydream, to imagine something wonderful, because we're too busy bridging the walk from the cafeteria to the office on the cell phone." 

Sad, but true!  Let's face it.  Social media and the World Wide Web has taken over our lives for years now.  It has even taken over our relationships with people.  I personally blame social media for how people have related to others.  It isn't only what people say on social media or how businesses or organizations have advertised their missions or stated their messages.  Social media has allowed us to communicate in different ways than we did 20 years ago.  

Years ago, people were writing letters and putting them in the mail, kids were passing notes around in class, people actually had real conversations on their landlines or old cell phones that had no Internet or text messaging and children and teenagers were getting together, hanging out somewhere in the neighborhood talking, laughing and even greeting each other with a hug.  Though, there are still a lot of people who still do those but these ways of communicating aren't as popular as they were once social media and text messaging came into our lives.  Why?  Text messaging is just more convenient and quicker for many of us and people love posting what's on their minds on social media and sharing what they find online.

There's just one issue I have with how we communicate on social media and when texting.  The buttons and emojis!  I'll post something interesting and all I see is someone hitting the "Like" button on Facebook.  No comments.  Just a thumb-up icon, or an angry, red face or a laughing face.  I know what most of those emojis mean except for the thumb-up.  When you hit the thumb-up button, it can mean a lot of things.  It could mean you liked it, agreed with it, thought it was interesting or you simply wanted me to know that you saw it or maybe you hit the button out of habit when you scrolled through your newsfeed.  

When I see someone has "liked" the content I posted, I have no idea what the person is thinking about it because all they do is hit the button and move on, without leaving a comment!  If they hit the sad face, red angry face or the laughing face buttons, I get it.  Though I like to see people's thoughts about what's been posted.  Don't get me wrong!  I always appreciate it that someone actually saw it and reacted to it in some way.  

Whoever had the idea of creating such buttons or emojis in the first place clearly understand that we cannot see each other's faces or body languages and we cannot hear their tones in their voices.  So why not just make the emojis and buttons?  Just push the thumb-up button and get it done and over with, right?  Besides, so many of us think all the animals, objects or emoji icons like hearts and kisses are cute and a lot of fun so we take advantage and play around with them a little.  

Just Hit That Button!

Now, after looking at the title of this blog, you're probably wondering, "ok, where is this going?  What's with the question about the "Sorry, I'm Busy" button?"  As I was just saying, we use a lot of buttons of animals and things and press the emojis to express what we're saying or thinking, which is totally fine!  Sometimes, I get the feeling that when we're reading our newsfeeds on Facebook or timelines on Twitter or Instagram, we're just looking through everything really quickly because no one has the time or energy to read everything!  We get up in the morning to read our social media platforms, have a cup of coffee but we have school or work so we can't read everything.  Then we come home in the evening, exhausted.  Again, no one wants to read everything.  We have errands to run, things to do and families to care for.  So we're whipping through the Facebook newsfeed again and we're tapping the buttons they provided us and leaving a limited amount of comments to content that really matter to us!

So many of us like pushing buttons online to express ourselves or to let others know we saw the posts on social media.  But what are you thinking when you do it?  Then again, people might not even react at all and you crave for online attention and complain about not having any "likes" or anything at all.  Maybe they didn't see your posts?  Or were they busy so they just hit a button and did not leave a comment?  Maybe we need a "Sorry, I'm busy" button to tell people they have seen the posts but didn't have time to comment or react.  Why not?  We have a button and emoji for everything else!  

I know most parents must wish they had a way to tell their kids something when their kids come up to them about something.  Those parents are exhausted after working or hearing the kids fighting and yelling about their needs like, "I need a ride to the mall!" or "Mom, Bobby locked me out of my room again!"  Perhaps the parents are trying to take a nap and they keep hearing the kids call them and all they can do is think about that episode from "Family Guy" when Stewie keeps on repeating, "Mom" over and over again!  So maybe the parents need a "Sorry, I'm busy" button to push so the kids get the message.  

Your boss has conference calls all day, emails to respond to, management issues to settle and more people to hire to make his life easier.  You come in his office with a problem with a product that your boss knows you can handle yourself.  He doesn't even have time to let you in the door so he wishes he had a "Sorry, I'm busy" button to push!

Words Are Just Words... Aren't They?

A "Like" button or text messages going unanswered means a lot of things.  But often when I see someone has liked my posts and texts but I see no responses, I wonder if they even read them and they were just too busy to let me know they did or that they appreciated what they saw and didn't think it was that big of a deal to even consider reacting.

Life is so busy for many of us that we find it easier and even fun to hit the "Like" button before reading the next post on our newsfeeds or the next tweet on our timelines.  Many of us may even think nothing more is necessary.  More than a "Like" or any reaction isn't usually necessary and definitely not required.  However, it would be nice and we would connect more to others if we did more than just that like leaving a comment and showing that we actually care about what was said or shared on social media.  I'm sure that before we were connecting online and when we were actually talking face-to-face, talking on the phone, interacting together in the same room offline, we felt more sociable and connected to everyone else physically and emotionally.  

When you're socializing online, you miss out on reading people's facial expressions and body languages, their tones in their voices.  How do you know when someone online is being sarcastic unless you already know them really well?  It can become harder to know when someone is being serious or joking about something and people get easily offended if you say something as a joke and they don't realize it.  That's a pretty good way to sabotage your online relationships because you end up losing their trust and eventually, the entire relationship breaks down if not recovered beforehand.  Having a good relationship with people online works but it takes more effort to ensure it stays that way! 

It isn't unfathomable why people would prefer to communicate online, especially when they're timid about expressing their emotions or they're worried about posting something that might be offensive.  No one wants to hear a loud voice yelling at them or see a real angry face!  That's why we have to try to learn how to resolve conflicts in civilized ways and be more comfortable with showing our emotions.  The problem is, doing it online is more comfortable and easier that way!

Feeling The Spoken Words

Also, being more sociable offline can help us become more empathetic because reading misinformation on social media platforms, like Facebook, is one of the reasons why more people are becoming less empathetic. We also may know that hearing others laughing or seeing smiles is contagious.  Do you usually smile or laugh when you see a smiley emoji or a "LOL" emoji?  Not likely!  Then there's physical contact like hugging and kissing and I think we all know those contacts can make us feel good.  I seriously doubt you'd feel the exact same sensation when you read, "Sending you virtual hugs!" or look at the kissing emojis!  I'm a sensitive person who appreciate intimacy with people I love and care about and while I appreciate others sending me virtual hugs, I prefer a real one!  It's more meaningful to me whenever it is possible.  Our bodies react more and our brains release oxytocin, allowing us to feel good, feel less anxiety and it lifts our moods.

So, while we can't always be together because of busy schedules, long distances, discomfort of manifesting our emotions in person, the desire to be anonymous for whatever reason or even when we had to distant ourselves during the early days of the Covid-19 pandemic, we can do better than just tapping on emojis and clicking the "Like" buttons.  We can take the time to let others know how we feel with real words.  It shows that we care about others and what they say.  If you show that you care, they'll show that they care, too!  

You know the saying, "action speaks louder than words"?  To me, words speak louder than emojis and "Like" buttons!  Words are meaningful when people get together in person to talk and discuss things when we can see each other's faces and hear others' voices.  Unfortunately, many people feel that's an invasive way to interact nowadays and it's so much easier to go virtual so that's how we roll now!  We feel on edge when talking about opposing viewpoints on politics, religions, the economy or even our own feelings about our personal relationships with people.  At the end, we feel like we'll be attacked if someone doesn't agree with us so we might as well not be seen in the same room physically.  We read political news stories online and leave comments at the bottom, complaining about this and that and how we wish our government would fix our problems.  You want something done?  Our politicians do not go around online reading comments so get your local and state's politicians' contact information and directly write to them! 

Closing It Up!

Regardless, I feel it's important to go back to being more civilized, empathetic and diplomatic if we want to be content and peaceful with ourselves and with each other.  Being so hostile to others doesn't gain anything and you'd find a lot of people like that online because they know they're anonymous and safe!  That kind of behavior gets nothing done.  If you're online attacking others, you got nothing productive to contribute to.  

It's fine to hang around your devices pushing buttons and emojis all day.  Seeing those cute little turtles or hearts are fun to find on social media.  It just doesn't get our messages across very well and personally, it leaves me often puzzled as to what you're thinking about what I'm posting.  It's difficult to stand up for what you believe in sometimes but more words with expression and tones than just online hearts and faces does go a long way.  It's important for people to spend time together offline to discuss, share ideas and feelings without constantly spending time on our phones!  It's also important to make time for others, rather than just make time for what we desire.  Psychologically, it helps you and everyone else.  Otherwise, we might as well create buttons and emojis for everything or just say nothing and hit the "Sorry, I'm busy" button!  What will that achieve in our society?  On a funny note, we certainly cannot use emojis for serious businesses like Petra did on "Jane The Virgin" when she gave permission to the hospital to remove her mother from life support!

NOTE:  I wanted to thank everyone who has been reading my blogs.  Your support has been appreciated!  If you enjoyed this one, too, please feel free to share this!

When You See Me

When you see me.... don't quickly assume that I need help.

When you see me.... don't say you're impressed with how strong I am, pushing around all day or comment on how low I am in my chair.

When you see me.... don't feel the need to ask if I am ok.  

When you see me... don't shout.

When you see me.... don't get up close to my face and speak at a very slow speed.

When you see me... see me as a person, who happens to be sitting down and who happens to hear less than many people.  

No matter what you see or what you may have learned about me, I am still a person like you.  I still have feelings, emotions, a beating heart, mind and soul, just like you.  I can still speak words, feel emotions and think thoughts.

I may not be exactly like you but I am still a human being.  We all may have different thoughts, feelings and opinions but it doesn't make us less of a person.  I still live to smile, laugh, think, feel, cry, get angry, eat and drink, play, work and interact with everything and human beings in the world.  

When you see me, you may see a wheelchair.

If you're a doctor, you may see a broken leg.

If you're a teacher, you may see my grades.

If you're some other professional serving the public such as an attorney, counselor or clerk, you may see my needs for your service.

Is that all you see?  Just a wheelchair?  Just a broken leg or clogged arteries that need unclogging?  Just my grades and scores that tell you how smart I am or whether I will graduate?  Just some papers in my hands for filing or payment?

What about who I am as a person?  Do you think about who you see when you see a wheelchair, when you see me trying to hear you, when you see a disease in my body, when you see me enter your classroom or workshop or when you see me come to you for your service?

This isn't just about me. It's not even about people with disabilities.  It's about all people who aren't always treated as human beings.  Doctors walk into an exam room to see you, they ask you medical questions, examine you, run tests then leave out the door.  Teachers walk into the classroom and teach you, grade you and give you homework and tests then go home back to their lives. Store clerks assist you with something, take your payment, bag your items then move onto the next customer.  Lawyers, repairmen, coaches and counselors provide you with their service and move on to the next person.

People who see you with a disability can see you have a wheelchair, a cane, scooter, a speech impediment or the way you walk because you have brain injury or cerebral palsy and all they think about is how you live your life with your disability and wonder if you need help or what they can do to help.  What about that person's personalities?  What about their abilities rather than disabilities?  What about what this person likes to do in their spare time, what they do for a living, what they think about others and everything going on around them?  What about their interests, beliefs or values?  

You see a person walking past you.  Other than what you see, what do you know about them?  What are their moods at the moment?  What are they struggling with these days?  What is making them content today?  What happened to them in the past that made them who they are right now?  

Imagine stepping on a subway in New York City.  Look around you and see all the people sitting and standing.  You see people standing or sitting alone or with their families, friends, significant others and colleagues.  There are a variety of people: young, old, children, babies, maybe a couple of people in wheelchairs, people conversing in Spanish or German, black people, Asian people, white people and people who wear unusual clothing, suits and ties, bright and loud clothing and just plain clothes.  

You see a couple sitting down together across from you.  The woman thinks everything in the relationship is going well but the man is secretly attracted to another woman from work.  Nevertheless, they're still looking at each other and smiling as if they've been in love for years.   On your left just a few feet down standing up is a middle-aged woman holding onto one of the straphangers.  She looks completely healthy but she may be hanging on to keep from collapsing, not only because the subway is moving but because she is tired from a round of chemotherapy she just had to treat her breast cancer.  On your right is a young man, looking out the window and while it looks like he's admiring the sunset over the New York Harbor, his eyes are actually glued on the Statue of Liberty.  You'd think he'd appreciate looking at such a historical but beautiful American sculpture but in reality, he is looking at the statue as he is thinking about a notification he received the day before from an immigration court, informing him that he has been deported back to his country in Israel.  Next to him is a group of teen girls giggling at one of their phones.  It appeared they were looking at some funny photo or text but they were actually excited when a boy in their class asked one of the girls out on a date.  Right behind you has been very quiet for the past 10 minutes then suddenly, a mother and a four-year-old boy steps on after the subway made a stop and the young boy is screaming, kicking and thrashing around.  Other passengers keep looking at him, wondering why the mother hasn't been able to control such a temperamental child but as you overhear the mother, you hear her tell her little boy calmly that she knows he hates subways and they will be at a place that you recognized very soon.  The place they are trying to get to is a therapy center for autistic children.  

When you see everyone around you, all you see is a head and a body wearing clothes.  All you see is a person with a service animal, a wheelchair or you see somebody who chew gum while walking down the street or you see them carrying two bags of who knows what.  When you let someone step in your office or class at work, you just see their reason why they're there.  Who are they?  Can you tell what they're going through just by looking at them? 

If we all try to make the effort and slow down and try to know the people that we meet, we can connect more, make no judgement about others and get along better.  On the internet, whether you're going in a chat room or message board, you don't see their faces.  So everyone's anonymous and that allows everyone in the world to create their own "alter egos."  Therefore, you meet a lot of fake people and people end up not getting along because a lot of people aren't being their true selves.  It's hard to connect when you don't know who you're connecting with.  It's a lot harder to trust them.  People start judging everyone because no one knows who they're really talking to.

I personally prefer people to get to know me for who I am, not what I use to get through life.  I want people to get to know me because that makes me human and when I feel like I'm being treated like a human being, I trust people to treat me with dignity, respect, care, love and like I belong with the rest of the world... even though I may be different.  Heck, everyone is different!

I would even love it if professionals who serve us (doctors, clerks, counselors, teachers etc...) would get to know us so they know our values and needs and so they can serve us better and make us feel like human beings and not just paychecks.  Treating others like humans gain our trust and respect and trust is what professionals like doctors and teachers need from us to serve us better.  Trust is what allows us to connect and if we connect, we become better people.  If you treat me and everyone else like we're humans and not anything else, a lot is gained!

I'm not saying you have to sit down and chat with me all day or ask me a ton of questions!  In fact, I'd prefer that you didn't bombard me with personal questions regarding my disability unless you want to know medically, what it means and how it affects me in the world.  Of course I want you to care that I have a disability.  Just don't make a huge deal out of it!  So instead of asking me if I need help or a push, just ask me what you'd ask a person without a disability like, "how are you?" or 'how is your day going so far?".  Instead of commenting how strong I am or how low I am sitting, just either comment on what a beautiful day it is or how fortunate we are to be able to experience the new things in life.  

Next time you see someone, just make small talk, no matter what you see with your eyes.  Just look past what you're seeing, get to know them, ask them questions and ask how they're doing in general to let them know you care about them as human beings.

When you see me (or others)... look past what your eyes are telling you about how we look, our health, religions, money, goals and just get to know us.  We're all busy or just not interested so many of us don't do that.  It is understandable that people at work are busy and have many people to see and people at home or other places have something important to do.  Just small talk is ok and good enough, even if it's just for a couple of minutes while you're doing something else!  I just want to know that you actually care.  If you care and don't judge, others will care about you too and will connect without judging you and trust you.  They will treat you like you're a real person.  After all, we are all humans!

Welcome!

 

Hi and welcome to my new blogging website!

To tell you the truth, it's my first at blogging. Before I begin to write something, it's hard to get started and know exactly what to say but often once I start, it gets easier. So hopefully, that's the case once I've started this very first blog... just an ordinary introduction to my blogs.

Let me tell you what really brought me here. My desire to put my thoughts into words and written somewhere. I often share with family and friends what I think and what I know on social media and they tell me, "you're a great writer! You express yourself beautifully and you speak wise words!" When I write, I don't do it to show off any writing skills or show off anything at all. I do it because I want to share. I want to express myself and get whatever I'm writing about out of my system. After I'm done, I feel better and get great feedback and I want to share with more people than just the people I already know. I hope that more people read my blogs and are inspired in many different ways.

 

I know you're wondering what in the world I plan to blog about. DIY projects? Advice about life, love, money or your career? My personal experiences as someone in a wheelchair? Politics? Tutorials? Movie and TV reviews? Honestly, I don't have any particular topics I plan to write about. I know so many people want to read blogs and know about one topic such as how to manage money, how they can find love or find the right careers for the or just read opinions about politics, music or movies.

When I write, I do so whenever I'm inspired and when I feel the need or desire to share something in order to get it out in the open and hopefully, inspire something. I've been told that I can educate and I do well in informing people about being in a wheelchair and what that's like. I like to share my knowledge of things such as that among other things, living life the best you and I can, the real struggles that I've experienced, what I think and feel about things in life such as nature, cats (I'm crazy about cats), movies or politics and my family have told me how inspiring my thoughts have been so why not share them with the world? That's the greatest thing about blogging!

 

Right now, America has been in the middle of one crisis after another lately. We're in the middle of a pandemic because of COVID-19 and now, we're in the middle of another crisis where black people are getting targeted and while it's not the first time, it keeps getting worse. This is all the more reason why this is a good time to start blogging. I've had more time at home to think, reflect and write while we wait for the country to go back to the way we were before COVID-19. I believe it's a time to share and inspire with positivity so that from this day forward, we stick together and become better people so generations in the future can help and contribute in great humanity. No one's perfect and this planet will never be perfect, let's be real about that. However, wouldn't it be wonderful if we connected more and became kinder? They say if we're kind, kindness have a way of coming back to you and you start feeling better about yourself!

A way to show kindness is sharing and sharing is caring and that's what this is about. I want people to know that because you have limits (whether you're physically, hearing or blindly challenged) or because you're feeling bad about what's going on around you, it doesn't mean we have to just stick with that! Life have limits but I like to think we can live around them or in my case, roll around them! I have my own personal struggles like anyone else and I hope we can all connect and help out one another. I welcome people to drop a line in the comments at the bottom if you have any thoughts about any blog ideas in the future or just want to talk. 

Please feel free to connect with me on social media and subscribe to keep up and read on for future blogs! All set? Let's roll!