Words Matter: Choosing Kindness in a Digital World

 

It’s disheartening when reading replies to some posts on social media.  Someone posted a reply regarding Starbucks (not here, but another Facebook page) saying they’ve never been there before.  Someone else said, “Who cares?  They didn’t ask if you’re been there before.  Why would you waste your time posting this?”

I think the real question is, “why am I wasting MY time reading this?”  It’s YOUR time that YOU are wasting.  It was your choice to read it and respond and how you respond is your own choice and responsibility.  An author has a reason for posting what they post.  If they’re happy posting it, they’re not wasting their time.  Maybe they just wanted to contribute and share and there were no rules on how to reply.  I appreciate people's feelings about their right to speak and say what they like but there are those who don't always choose their words carefully and realize how it makes people feel.  It's difficult to care more about people we don't know and how they feel but just because it's a right to say what we like doesn't mean we should say them.  Our words have consequences on real people and even the real world.  Guess what?  The real world affects you!  

Whatever you’re reading on social media, it doesn’t mean you have to care but it also doesn’t mean you have to be rude or inconsiderate.  Whether it’s face-to-face or online through a screen, the people you read comments from are real, no matter how fake social media may seem.

If you find a post or reply that annoys you but isn’t breaking any rules, the best thing to do is to just keep scrolling and move on.  I know there are many inconsiderate people and that’s very unfortunate but our behaviors and attitudes do affect us more than you can imagine.  If we were more considerate and kind to others, more people would be the same for us and the rest of our day can be more positive and peaceful.  What comes around, goes around.  I know all this seems cliched but I think it’s worth repeating over and over again until we see changes.  We appear to be progressing but we’re not quite there yet!  Maybe we’re not supposed to be there yet?  Maybe we’re destined to keep doing this for the rest of our lives so younger generations can learn from us?  In reality, this could go on forever but we have a choice: let this last forever or finally be the change?  Don’t wait for change.  Be the change. 

We are taught the way we behave to an extent.  It’s past time to teach our children and everyone of all ages about kindness and it’s really sad that in 2025 and in the world of social media, we still have to do this.  Empathy, kindness and consideration is both innate and taught in some degrees.  A young child may be selfish because he wants all the toys to himself and not share them with his younger sibling.  So he has to be taught to share even though since birth, he’s had the capacity to be kind.

When it comes to social media, people knows we’re talking to total strangers and that’s very unfortunate we’re talking through screens.  So we just say, “who cares what I learned from my parents?  People can’t see me, I can just say whatever I want!” and we start treating Facebook like a wild playground with absolutely no repercussions because there is clearly no one around making any rules how to treat others!  

Regardless of whether you got a screen in front of you, think about your comments.  Are you being kind?  Is it necessary?  Is it beneficial?  Whose time is really being wasted?  Theirs…. or yours?

Seeking The Truth Amidst The Noise

 

Journalism has changed a lot, especially with the reports regarding the current LA wildfires and the Trump administration's return to the White House. The other day, I turned on the TV expecting updates on the wildfires, as people are suffering and need help. Instead, the news focused on confirmation hearings for Trump's cabinet. I do care about politics, but many people share my frustration and that there’s limited time for news in a half-hour show.  If I want more details, I have to look it up online.

The Information Overload

Reading the newspapers isn’t my cup of tea when it comes to learning about what’s happening out there unless there’s a headline that catches my eye. There are just too many stories, and quite frankly, I don’t like to hold up the whole thing and read so much news at once! I want to know what’s happening quickly, but I also want enough information to comprehend the situation. It’s frustrating because online articles are often clickbait, with catchy headlines that don’t tell me the whole story. After clicking on them, I often regret it because they don’t provide the details I need. Those headlines seem designed to attract clicks, not to inform.

A few years ago, when I went into a store that sells old and unusual things, I found a copy of the "Los Angeles Herald Tribune" published the day after John F. Kennedy was assassinated. The entire paper was focused on that tragedy: people's reactions, details of that grim day, and the impact on the nation and worldwide. The news was full of facts, whether people wanted to hear them or not. I feel that journalism has changed so much today that we’re not getting those same kinds of detailed, factual stories. It feels like we’re getting more opinions than factual news.  When I read the newspapers, I found myself enjoying the stories from that day and appreciating what went on in people’s minds and feeling the sensation of that tragic day on November 22, 1963. 

The Misinformation Controversy

The rise of social media over the past couple of decades has come with complications. Platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram were created to help us connect with family and friends. That’s why I signed up and that part has worked well, allowing me to reconnect with long-distance relatives and friends. However, these platforms have also become landscapes for misinformation and heated debates. This issue intensified during the Covid-19 pandemic, with campaigns from influencers, anti-vaxx groups, and even some news organizations promoting information debunked by health experts for their own profit. As our feeds fill with ads and disputable claims, it’s easy to forget the original purpose of these platforms.  That is to connect, not divide.

Now, it seems that there’s a constant battle of opinions online. It’s frustrating because, instead of promoting productive conversations, social media often fuels anger and attacks. It's become a place where people argue over everything, especially politics. People seem to think that their opinion is the only right one, and that anyone who disagrees is wrong. This creates a toxic environment where name-calling and personal attacks are the norm.  But what does this accomplish?  Why create such a destructive atmosphere online when we can just use online platforms for sharing ideas, opinions and feelings in more constructive ways?  I get it.  Hot topics do evoke strong feelings for us.  It’s difficult because emotions run high, and we want to be heard and understood but some of us get offended.  How often do we pause to consider our emotional responses before jumping into debates online?   

Gun control?  A lot of people have different ways of approaching it.  Abortion?  Many people have different stances on this, too.  Some of us feel like we need more guns, less guns, tighter laws on immigration, more lenient procedures for letting people in America, more governmental control and less of it.  It’s ok, none of us have to agree on everything.  If we did, we wouldn’t be able to think critically and grow as a society.  After a while, we’d get bored and have nothing left to talk about! 

Bridging The Partisan Divide

I witnessed a thread of posts on Facebook after I posted about my experience as a person with a disability.  I posted that people would ask me if I needed help when I was doing nothing while waiting for something.  My response to them was, “with what?”  They just saw my wheelchair and assumed I needed help.  Anyway, that post generated a lot of responses included a thread of…. a flame war, I guess you could say?  It turned out it was a lot of misunderstanding, so it took some clarifying and understanding for some time and all parties involved began to find peace with each other when they had one purpose: to understand each other, not hate or offend

News media platforms have also changed their focus. It feels like they serve their own particular audiences than providing unbiased reporting.  This only seems to divide America even further. The media gives the public what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear, which might explain why partisan attitudes have become so extreme.  They aren’t exactly like our parents when we were kids where we were told things we needed to hear but didn’t want to!  Sound familiar?

 

Beyond The Bubble: The Echo Chamber Effect

In the 1990s, we learned that truth and accuracy were essential in journalism. Opinions were allowed, but guidelines protected against slander and ensured integrity of journalism…. and kept student journalists out of trouble! Today, while journalists can share their opinions thanks to Freedom of the Press, some feel this has become excessive. Many still rely on the news for the truth, but what happens when it's filled with personal viewpoints instead of facts? I’m not claiming the news is all lies (depends on who you ask, really) but it's not like 1963, when events were reported as they occurred. Today, we have fact checkers to verify reports, yet many readers ignore them due to distrust, confirmation bias, emotions, belief systems, and misinformation campaigns.

I also find myself trying to be open-minded, listening to different perspectives, although like any human, I’ll slip and forget that it’s not my opinion but someone else’s. It’s important to engage in critical thinking, as it would allow us to better assess information we hear or read about. A lack of critical thinking could contribute to the pervasion of narratives that may not benefit our society.

Now, regarding the TV coverage, I understand why the confirmation hearings were covered instead of the wildfires. Yes, Trump is about to take office again, so the hearings seemed urgent. But it doesn’t mean we should overlook other significant events, like the fires that were affecting real people’s lives. Maybe viewers were tired of hearing about the disasters, or perhaps it felt overwhelming to think about them, which can lead to apathy. But the media’s role is to inform us, to provide resources, and to help communities come together, especially in times of crisis.

When I watch the news, it’s difficult but I try to remind myself that it isn’t just "bad news." It can inspire us to help others and to come together as a community. I believe we really need that kind of perspective, especially now with the contentious inauguration of Donald Trump, the LA wildfires and the recent passing of President Jimmy Carter. If we open our eyes and minds, we can work toward a better future.

From Division To Dialogue: The Power of Human Connection

A divided country and community won't get us anywhere except for more division, anger, hatred and violence. The media should focus on stories that unite us and offer new viewpoints rather than dwelling only on commentary that can potentially alienate us from one another. During my journalism classes, we often discussed human interest stories and how much they matter, but they also emphasized the need for factual reporting.

In light of the ongoing controversies and while it’s okay to voice opinions, I wish we could find common ground instead of allowing those opinions to tear us apart. With respect and open-mindedness, we can engage in constructive conversation rather than descending into argument and conflict.

We might lose people along the way, but if they can't appreciate constructive conversations, were they ever really on our side? Our goal is to create a new community: a space where we listen, share, and work together for a better world, embracing our differences to foster growth. We can start by opening our minds and hearts, doing our own research, and learning to appreciate the world more. The key is creating an environment where we can discuss ideas comfortably and safely, without judgment or bias, where we listen, make ourselves heard, and keep our emotions in check. If we need to express our feelings, we should channel them productively by seeking clarification (ask questions, not accuse!) and finding common ground.

We are capable of coming together respectfully. Journalism may have changed, but it doesn’t have to be our enemy. We can still strive to cultivate awareness, empathy, and understanding, creating an atmosphere that encourages healthier discussions and actions to improve our well-beings. Let's aim for that from this day forward, no matter what circumstances hit us.

John F. Kennedy has said, "Without debate, without criticism, no administration and no country can succeed—and no republic can survive."

Excuse Me But Where's My "Sorry, I'm Busy" Button?

The image above is not real!  There was never a real conversation with the famous filmmaker, Steven Spielberg and the graphic was created at ifaketextmessage.com.

The Rise of Online Communication and What It Means

Filmmaker Steven Spielberg said, "Technology can be our best friend, and technology can also be the biggest party pooper of our lives. It interrupts our own story, interrupts our ability to have a thought or daydream, to imagine something wonderful, because we're too busy bridging the walk from the cafeteria to the office on the cell phone." 

Sad, but true!  Let's face it.  Social media and the World Wide Web has taken over our lives for years now.  It has even taken over our relationships with people.  I personally blame social media for how people have related to others.  It isn't only what people say on social media or how businesses or organizations have advertised their missions or stated their messages.  Social media has allowed us to communicate in different ways than we did 20 years ago.  

Years ago, people were writing letters and putting them in the mail, kids were passing notes around in class, people actually had real conversations on their landlines or old cell phones that had no Internet or text messaging and children and teenagers were getting together, hanging out somewhere in the neighborhood talking, laughing and even greeting each other with a hug.  Though, there are still a lot of people who still do those but these ways of communicating aren't as popular as they were once social media and text messaging came into our lives.  Why?  Text messaging is just more convenient and quicker for many of us and people love posting what's on their minds on social media and sharing what they find online.

There's just one issue I have with how we communicate on social media and when texting.  The buttons and emojis!  I'll post something interesting and all I see is someone hitting the "Like" button on Facebook.  No comments.  Just a thumb-up icon, or an angry, red face or a laughing face.  I know what most of those emojis mean except for the thumb-up.  When you hit the thumb-up button, it can mean a lot of things.  It could mean you liked it, agreed with it, thought it was interesting or you simply wanted me to know that you saw it or maybe you hit the button out of habit when you scrolled through your newsfeed.  

When I see someone has "liked" the content I posted, I have no idea what the person is thinking about it because all they do is hit the button and move on, without leaving a comment!  If they hit the sad face, red angry face or the laughing face buttons, I get it.  Though I like to see people's thoughts about what's been posted.  Don't get me wrong!  I always appreciate it that someone actually saw it and reacted to it in some way.  

Whoever had the idea of creating such buttons or emojis in the first place clearly understand that we cannot see each other's faces or body languages and we cannot hear their tones in their voices.  So why not just make the emojis and buttons?  Just push the thumb-up button and get it done and over with, right?  Besides, so many of us think all the animals, objects or emoji icons like hearts and kisses are cute and a lot of fun so we take advantage and play around with them a little.  

Just Hit That Button!

Now, after looking at the title of this blog, you're probably wondering, "ok, where is this going?  What's with the question about the "Sorry, I'm Busy" button?"  As I was just saying, we use a lot of buttons of animals and things and press the emojis to express what we're saying or thinking, which is totally fine!  Sometimes, I get the feeling that when we're reading our newsfeeds on Facebook or timelines on Twitter or Instagram, we're just looking through everything really quickly because no one has the time or energy to read everything!  We get up in the morning to read our social media platforms, have a cup of coffee but we have school or work so we can't read everything.  Then we come home in the evening, exhausted.  Again, no one wants to read everything.  We have errands to run, things to do and families to care for.  So we're whipping through the Facebook newsfeed again and we're tapping the buttons they provided us and leaving a limited amount of comments to content that really matter to us!

So many of us like pushing buttons online to express ourselves or to let others know we saw the posts on social media.  But what are you thinking when you do it?  Then again, people might not even react at all and you crave for online attention and complain about not having any "likes" or anything at all.  Maybe they didn't see your posts?  Or were they busy so they just hit a button and did not leave a comment?  Maybe we need a "Sorry, I'm busy" button to tell people they have seen the posts but didn't have time to comment or react.  Why not?  We have a button and emoji for everything else!  

I know most parents must wish they had a way to tell their kids something when their kids come up to them about something.  Those parents are exhausted after working or hearing the kids fighting and yelling about their needs like, "I need a ride to the mall!" or "Mom, Bobby locked me out of my room again!"  Perhaps the parents are trying to take a nap and they keep hearing the kids call them and all they can do is think about that episode from "Family Guy" when Stewie keeps on repeating, "Mom" over and over again!  So maybe the parents need a "Sorry, I'm busy" button to push so the kids get the message.  

Your boss has conference calls all day, emails to respond to, management issues to settle and more people to hire to make his life easier.  You come in his office with a problem with a product that your boss knows you can handle yourself.  He doesn't even have time to let you in the door so he wishes he had a "Sorry, I'm busy" button to push!

Words Are Just Words... Aren't They?

A "Like" button or text messages going unanswered means a lot of things.  But often when I see someone has liked my posts and texts but I see no responses, I wonder if they even read them and they were just too busy to let me know they did or that they appreciated what they saw and didn't think it was that big of a deal to even consider reacting.

Life is so busy for many of us that we find it easier and even fun to hit the "Like" button before reading the next post on our newsfeeds or the next tweet on our timelines.  Many of us may even think nothing more is necessary.  More than a "Like" or any reaction isn't usually necessary and definitely not required.  However, it would be nice and we would connect more to others if we did more than just that like leaving a comment and showing that we actually care about what was said or shared on social media.  I'm sure that before we were connecting online and when we were actually talking face-to-face, talking on the phone, interacting together in the same room offline, we felt more sociable and connected to everyone else physically and emotionally.  

When you're socializing online, you miss out on reading people's facial expressions and body languages, their tones in their voices.  How do you know when someone online is being sarcastic unless you already know them really well?  It can become harder to know when someone is being serious or joking about something and people get easily offended if you say something as a joke and they don't realize it.  That's a pretty good way to sabotage your online relationships because you end up losing their trust and eventually, the entire relationship breaks down if not recovered beforehand.  Having a good relationship with people online works but it takes more effort to ensure it stays that way! 

It isn't unfathomable why people would prefer to communicate online, especially when they're timid about expressing their emotions or they're worried about posting something that might be offensive.  No one wants to hear a loud voice yelling at them or see a real angry face!  That's why we have to try to learn how to resolve conflicts in civilized ways and be more comfortable with showing our emotions.  The problem is, doing it online is more comfortable and easier that way!

Feeling The Spoken Words

Also, being more sociable offline can help us become more empathetic because reading misinformation on social media platforms, like Facebook, is one of the reasons why more people are becoming less empathetic. We also may know that hearing others laughing or seeing smiles is contagious.  Do you usually smile or laugh when you see a smiley emoji or a "LOL" emoji?  Not likely!  Then there's physical contact like hugging and kissing and I think we all know those contacts can make us feel good.  I seriously doubt you'd feel the exact same sensation when you read, "Sending you virtual hugs!" or look at the kissing emojis!  I'm a sensitive person who appreciate intimacy with people I love and care about and while I appreciate others sending me virtual hugs, I prefer a real one!  It's more meaningful to me whenever it is possible.  Our bodies react more and our brains release oxytocin, allowing us to feel good, feel less anxiety and it lifts our moods.

So, while we can't always be together because of busy schedules, long distances, discomfort of manifesting our emotions in person, the desire to be anonymous for whatever reason or even when we had to distant ourselves during the early days of the Covid-19 pandemic, we can do better than just tapping on emojis and clicking the "Like" buttons.  We can take the time to let others know how we feel with real words.  It shows that we care about others and what they say.  If you show that you care, they'll show that they care, too!  

You know the saying, "action speaks louder than words"?  To me, words speak louder than emojis and "Like" buttons!  Words are meaningful when people get together in person to talk and discuss things when we can see each other's faces and hear others' voices.  Unfortunately, many people feel that's an invasive way to interact nowadays and it's so much easier to go virtual so that's how we roll now!  We feel on edge when talking about opposing viewpoints on politics, religions, the economy or even our own feelings about our personal relationships with people.  At the end, we feel like we'll be attacked if someone doesn't agree with us so we might as well not be seen in the same room physically.  We read political news stories online and leave comments at the bottom, complaining about this and that and how we wish our government would fix our problems.  You want something done?  Our politicians do not go around online reading comments so get your local and state's politicians' contact information and directly write to them! 

Closing It Up!

Regardless, I feel it's important to go back to being more civilized, empathetic and diplomatic if we want to be content and peaceful with ourselves and with each other.  Being so hostile to others doesn't gain anything and you'd find a lot of people like that online because they know they're anonymous and safe!  That kind of behavior gets nothing done.  If you're online attacking others, you got nothing productive to contribute to.  

It's fine to hang around your devices pushing buttons and emojis all day.  Seeing those cute little turtles or hearts are fun to find on social media.  It just doesn't get our messages across very well and personally, it leaves me often puzzled as to what you're thinking about what I'm posting.  It's difficult to stand up for what you believe in sometimes but more words with expression and tones than just online hearts and faces does go a long way.  It's important for people to spend time together offline to discuss, share ideas and feelings without constantly spending time on our phones!  It's also important to make time for others, rather than just make time for what we desire.  Psychologically, it helps you and everyone else.  Otherwise, we might as well create buttons and emojis for everything or just say nothing and hit the "Sorry, I'm busy" button!  What will that achieve in our society?  On a funny note, we certainly cannot use emojis for serious businesses like Petra did on "Jane The Virgin" when she gave permission to the hospital to remove her mother from life support!

NOTE:  I wanted to thank everyone who has been reading my blogs.  Your support has been appreciated!  If you enjoyed this one, too, please feel free to share this!