As another year of 2023 comes to an end, we often find ourselves settle into the same old mindset that we should new year's resolutions for the coming year. We reflect the past year and we ponder on what goals we haven't met and what goals we need to fulfill for the next year in order to commit to a new fresh start in our lives. However... why not try another approach? How about exploring the idea of continuing our goals as our new year's resolution while just enjoying life, progressing at our own pace and ultimately, embracing the imperfection that makes us humans? Tried to quit smoking this past year but failed? Keep doing it in 2024! Tried to lose weight last January 2023 only to fall off the wagon after 6 weeks before giving up for the whole year? Try again in 2024!
Life itself is a journey. We are a work in progress. It's not a race! We don't have to finish college by 25. We don't have to get married and raise a family of 3 kids by 45. Some of us reach at 50 and still aren't sure what we're doing with our lives! I used to think you had to finish high school, go to college, wait til after college to get married and have 2.5 kids with a dog and a nice house surrounded by a picket fence and settle into our careers without changing. Now I realized there's no hurry at all. There's no hurry to pick a career if you're not sure what you want to do, to get married and have kids or to even complete a bucket list! Most of the time, we never even do every single thing on our bucket list and we may end up on our deathbeds someday thinking how we should've done something or gone someplace but we didn't.
Whatever you think, it's ok to not complete everything you've ever wanted to do. It's ok to fail, make mistakes and fall of the wagon. We can't be perfect. Being perfect is just being unrealistic and it's unattainable! We weren't created to be perfect! If we were trying to be perfect, how are we supposed to grow, learn and become self-compassionate? Embracing our need to be perfect only brings on stress and undermines our self-confidence. We are all flawed beings and setbacks are a natural part of any pathway towards personal development and self-improvement. So when those setbacks happen, don't stop for the rest of the year and give up. Cut yourself some slack, remind yourself you're human and you weren't meant to be perfect and after you've taken a breather, try again when you're mentally and emotionally ready. Focus on the joy of progress, let go of high expectations and set mini-goals, instead of big goals.
Instead of feeling the pressure of starting anew each year, give yourself permission to grace yourself with progress in your goals and your own life's purposes that are significant to you. You don't have to start a new goal then if you don't reach it in 2025, don't stop and just say, "Welp! I didn't reach my goals or resolutions I promised to make for myself last New Year so I guess it wasn't meant to be and I might as well quit and pick another resolution that's easier!" If losing weight, finding the love of your life, giving up cigarettes or traveling to Europe for the first time ever is that important to you, then go for it! So you didn't make it to Europe, lose 70 lbs or find the right guy in 2023. Keep trying in 2024! If no luck, try again in 2025! Yes, some of us won't be here in 2025 but at least we had lives filled with joy, love and lessons we did learn and teach others so those who are still on Earth can finish what we began.
Thanks to what we were taught as children, our history and societal norms, we are so fixated on setting resolutions and achieving goals that we forget to pause and appreciate the present moment. Instead of consuming ourselves with the need to accomplish new objectives, we should be cultivating the mindset that allows us to savor life's journey every moment as we can. If we can do that, we can celebrate the smallest things like small victories, our growth and we can become more content. By doing so, we enjoy each minute of reaching our goals and if we find a way to enjoy them, it will be easier to reach those goals without so much stress and complaining about how difficult it is in whatever we choose to do.
I'm not saying we should let go of things that need to be done or deadlines that must be met in our careers or at school. While we're still living, we definitely should be reaching goals and finding our purposes but at the same time, enjoy the journey of doing those and finding a balance between personal goals, pursuing careers, savoring each aspect of life's beauty and nurturing relationships with others. By cultivating a balance, you can live a lifestyle that is both smooth and fulfilling. We can then feel less stressed and enjoy fulfilling our New Year's resolutions.
10 years ago, I went through a major event that changed my perspectives about goals, purposes and living life in general. I used to take things for granted but I don't anymore and there have been things I wish I had done before now but I realize that while it's true that life is short, I believe in taking my time and enjoying the journey in reaching my goals, finding my purpose and whatever else I am meant to stay on this Earth for. It's hard to start our goals into a new year but once we start, it's easier to get the ball rolling!
So in conclusion, let this new year be an acknowledgement of self-acceptance and continuous personal growth instead of an obligation to redefine ourselves with goals that may be filled with nothing but struggles and aggravation. Life is about embracing imperfection and the small things. I'll just bullet-point some things for you clearly:
- Let go of expectations based on what you were taught and societal norms. Life changes all the time, whether we can control it or not.
- Instead of reaching big goals, reach mini-goals
- Be realistic
- Find new ways to enjoy the moment and take your time
- Be conscious that you may not finish everything. Just know you did your best and you are a work in progress! It is ok to pass the torch and let someone after you finish something. Steve Jobs was the reason why Apple Inc. become successful but after he passed away, Tim Cook took the company to higher levels by introducing new products like AirPods and Apple Watches. Walt Disney founded the Walt Disney Company and brightened up our entertainment industry with animations and theme parks. However, in 2005, Bob Iger advanced this success with the addition of modern and advanced ideas like Pixar and Marvel.
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